Purple Landslide as Paige takes the Mayorship!

Residents of New London woke Saturday morning to find out the have a new Mayor, as Paige Snowpaw of  'The Purple Party' won a landslide victory in the Mayoral Election.

Winning 50% of the vote, Paige now has a strong mandate to implement her ideas - which include free 'fizz' for all and ensuring the Town Clock gets new hands!

The result could spell trouble for Brambleton's resident Doctor though, as Paige has promised to launch an investigation into the activities at Dr. Lux Knox' clinic!

New Mayor: Paige Snowpaw

 The results may have been multiplied by a thousand :-)

Paige Snopwaw, PURPLE PARTY 22,000

Florence Rabbit. BLOWJOB PARTY 6,000

Dr Lux Knox INDEPENDENT 6,000

Sam Slaine CULT OF SAM 5,000

Halo Ewing BLACK SEX MATTERS 4,000

Garf Serpente GINGER ALLIANCE GROUP 2,000

New London Mayor Elections 2024! Your candidates!

Yes, it's that time again, the UK General Election is in full swing; and that means one thing for New London.... Mayor Elections!

Current Mayor Holly is not standing for re-election.

Here we bring you the 5 main Policies of each candidate!

Halo Ewing - BSM (Black Sex Matters) Party

1. Defund Officer Cardboard

2. More Boobs. Bigger Boobs.

3. Free black cock for New London women.

4. National Service for Brambletonians in the pages of Buxmag.

5. A tax on lengthy AFK.

Doctor Lux Knox

1) More pool parties

2) More grime and dirt in the canal

3) Funding for a team of professional horse relocators 

4) Free and available health care

5) More pies

Florence Rabbit (Blowjob Party)

1. Blowjobs

2. More Blowjobs

3. Drain the canal!

4. Muzzle PC Bobby

5. Stop the noobs in small boats

Garf Serpente - Ginger Alliance Group (GAG)

1. Provide continuity in Mayoral provision in New London. I will put the same level of effort into being the Mayor that my party predecessor, Holly Akright did during her term of office.

2. A Statue in honour of all Gingers to be erected in Brambleton.

3. An all Ginger edition of Buxom Magazine to be put together and released. I won't be in it but I will do what I can to make it happen.

4. Kebabs, all the time, chicken, doner, mixed, even vegetarian, you should never be more than 2 minutes walk away from a kebab.

5. More police on the streets, or fewer if PC Bobby Copper is getting on your tits. Whatever pleases the masses.

Sam Slaine - Cult of Sam

1. A pledge to keep you safe from people like me who are not probably me.

2. A pledge to show you the way away from any false ways

3. A pledge to recognize your probable beauty if you recognize my improbable love

4. A pledge to keep you wanting more, even when there is no more left to give, I will keep you needing.

5. A pledge of loyalty; I anticipate it.

Paige Snowpaw - Purple Party

1. Free Sweets & Fizz at Paige's Sweet Shop

2. A full Police investigation into Doctor Lux's medical practices. 

3. Themed nights in Brambleton. Topless Tuesday for example.

4. Clock hands for the Town Clock!

5. An all Purple Issue of Buxom Magazine.